My eyes were already closed, and I was already drifting to dreamland when I heard my doorbell ring. I was not expecting anyone. When I checked my phone, I saw no message nor call that would inform me that someone was coming over. I thought that maybe someone had just rung the wrong door. I ignored it and just grabbed the pillow beside me and hugged it. On the third ring, I decided to just get up and take the sturdiest frying pan with me. Then, a familiar, too familiar voice called out my name. It was my boyfriend, no, crash that, ex-boyfriend.
I opened the door and saw his teary-eyed face. He hugged me so tight and told me that there was something that he needed to tell me. It couldn’t wait any longer, he said. We sat down on my couch, and he dropped the “It’s not you, it’s me” line on me. My boyfriend of almost one year was breaking up with me in my own home. He could have done it anywhere but my home.
After a week of crying and moping, I finally told myself that enough was enough. It was time to pick up the pieces and start anew.
I just knew that the first step was to change my stupid doorbell. I just couldn’t hear my doorbell ring the same way again. The generic tone of my doorbell was now associated with my ex-boyfriend. That’s why I installed the SadoTech Model C which allowed me to choose from 52 different tones. Removing everything that reminded me of him from my own safe place was freeing. It gave me some finality that he’s not part of my life anymore.
The next thing I did was book an appointment with a salon. I needed that post-break-up haircut and makeover. I needed to feel myself again and to be comfortable in my own skin. It honestly made me feel good about myself. It boosted my self-confidence. I didn’t just stop there. I also read some self-help books and attended some group counseling.
Lastly, I paid attention to the things that would make me happy. The simple things that would put a smile on my face. I like flowers, so I started putting flowers on my desk. I enjoy strolling so I walked whenever I could. Trying to catch up with the latest episodes of my favorite series occupied my mind. Listening to the new releases of my favorite bands was also therapeutic for me.
I didn’t get over him in a snap. It was a journey of healing and self-discovery. There were times that I wanted to revisit some memories with him but I stopped myself to dwell too much.
Heartbreak totally changes someone. It’s either for the better or for worse but how you deal with it makes the difference. Trust me, it’ll never be easy but just know that once you’ll get through it, you'll become much stronger and wiser. Do whatever that will help you get over that person (as long as it’s not destructive). May it be changing that doorbell or donating the things they have given to you. Go for it! You shouldn’t stop yourself from healing and having that new start.